Q&A with Nuggets forward Kenneth Faried: Talk to the hands

Here is an Q&A with Nuggets forward Kenneth Faried: Talk to the hands:

Hochman: Pleasure to meet you both (shakes each hand). Thanks for, um, lending me a hand with this interview.

Left hand: Really, that's the best you've got?

Right hand: Yeah, you're starting this off like the Broncos did at San Diego.

Hochman: Ha ha, touché. Well, anyway, thanks for taking the time to chat. OK, you guys are tremendous at offensive rebounding. Why are you so successful on the offensive glass?

Left hand: Attitude. Kenneth has this unwavering mentality that any rebound in the Mountain time zone belongs to him, so we must have that same fury. Each finger is like its own little Kenneth. Except for the thumb. That's more like a little Ty Lawson.

Hochman: So what does that make Ty Lawson's thumb?

Left hand: A little Earl Boykins?

Right hand: As for rebounding, with your opponent, you want to gain the upper, well, us. We have to be pickpocket quick, beating the other hands to the basketball. But just because we get one of us on the ball, that doesn't mean we've got the rebound. You've got to squeeze that thing, secure it. Hustle and strength, it goes me-in-me.

Hochman: You guys have had some huge performances. There were the 15 points, 11 boards and two blocks in the Game 6 win against the Lakers. The four blocks against the Kings. And of course, the 27 points and 17 rebounds in just 24 minutes against the Warriors. What's your favorite memory?

Left hand: It's got to be the night against the Celtics when we pitched the perfect game — making all five field goals, all eight free throws ... oh, and 14 rebounds too. All while taking verbal abuse from Kevin Garnett's right hand — man, that thing is pretty ruthless. It digs to the core, screaming things such as, "Your cuticles are an abomination!"

Hochman: And your favorite moment?

Right hand: Well, this is a sore subject for my counterpart here, because all he could do was watch as I caught Rudy Fernandez's no-look, backward, over-the-head pass — in midair — for a one-me slam. I was all over "SportsCenter" and the Twitterverse. The most talked about hand until Amar'e Stoudemire's.

(Hochman's phone buzzes)

Hochman: Wait, did one of you just tweet about me while we're sitting here? And come on, did you just invent the hashtag nerd alert?

(Laughter)

Hochman: OK, final question: What are your goals?

Right hand: It's quite simple (pulls down all his fingers except the ring finger).

Left hand: And maybe to meet Rihanna.

Right hand: So yeah, ring and Rihanna.